Ask people to sum up what happiness is in a few words and you'll get a variety of answers plus a few furrowed brows. It's a subjective topic, with parameters that are only defined within ourselves. Which is why I say that happiness is the loneliest of mysteries, as we each have to find the answers alone that are meaningful to us.
Let me give you an example here. When I was wee, my family went to a marine park. We settled down that afternoon to watch the dolphin show. I was thrilled watching them leap through hoops, stand on their tails, etc, at the command of the instructor. It just took my breath away, how beautiful and smart they were.
The instructor asked if any of the children in the audience would like to come down, kneel at the side of the pool and get a surprise. I was up like a shot, only to feel my mum tugging on the back of my shirt, saying not to. She knew what was going to happen and I didn't!
Mum said something along the lines of how I'd be soaking wet by the end of it, and would need to walk about in wet clothes all day. Did I care? Not a bit! I just wanted to see what the surprise was.
I could see the other kids lined up along the edge of the pool, and heard the instructor asking if there was anyone else. My pleading increased in urgency, realising I was going to miss my chance here of whatever the fabulous surprise was. My dad said " Oh, let her do it," (probably tired of listening to me asking by now) so Mum relented, smiling and shaking her head resignedly. Yippee! I ran excitedly down to the poolside before they changed their minds.
All us kids knelt down at the edge of the poolside, concentrating on looking into the water as directed, leaning as close as we could dare without falling in. I could see the dolphins swimming under the water, faster and faster streaking towards us then just as they reached where all the kids were ...Whoosh!!!! They leapt into the air in a graceful arc over the high bar and landed right beside us.
The splashdown created flying water everywhere, and of course, because we kids all so close and so near water level, we got drenched with it, absolutely soaked through!! The audience laughed, gasped, applauded, screeched (mostly the mums thinking of pneumonia, I think, that was.)
Shocked by the cold water but gasping through my delighted laughter, I ran the whole way back to my seat, dripping water from my clothes, my hair, everywhere, shivering but thrilled to bits. Even my mum was laughing at my obvious delight, despite her initial disapproval.
When I eventually settled down, I was surprised to see that other kids that had just done the same thing as me a few rows down were bawling their eyes out and obviously distressed. How could they not have liked that !?!? Strange indeed. It was great, how could they possibly not have had fun?
So what for me had been a glorious experience, for some had been scary and upsetting. I was happy but they definitely weren't.
Many times, what makes people happy or unhappy is just not what we expect. We assume that they are just like us, as I did that day at the marine park. Of course they are not, as we are all unique. That doesn't mean they are wrong or that we are because their path to happiness is not like ours -we are just taking different routes. It can cause confusion when we have different standards though that haven't been voiced.
Maybe that explains why happiness seems to be such an elusive quality to many of us - if we can't even agree on a definition of happiness, then seeking a commonality of sorts is nigh impossible. Again, this is why it's a search that is personal and individual that you alone can do.
The bad news is that no one can hand you happiness on a platter. The good news is that happiness is what you choose it to be! When you find it within yourself, it radiates from you. When you share that radiance, or another shares it with you, it's wonderful. The best advice on seeking it out? I'd say listen to your heart, it knows the way. You may even solve that mystery once and for all.
I leave you with the wise words of Benjamin Franklin. Why not choose to make your day a happy one!
Happiness consists more in small conveniences or pleasures that occur every day, than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom to a man in the course of his life. --Benjamin Franklin
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